"I'm just not into you" - Kicking lukewarm passions to the curb I have the annoying tendency (so say family and friends) of equating most work issues to personal relationships. I can't help myself when the analogies are so perfect! One hit me the other day when I thought about the pop-culture hit book He's Just Not That into You: The No Excuses Truth to Understanding Guys. It aimed to help single women see the brutal truth that when a suitor didn't call, was afraid to commit or wasn't emotionally engaged, it just meant one thing: he wasn't "into" you. For centuries, women had been making up excuses for lukewarm romantic advances, thinking that either "he just wasn't ready" or "he would come around with time, patience and saintly understanding." Hogwash, said the authors Greg Behrendt and Liz Tuccillo. Behavior speaks for itself, and the more time and energy you spend waiting around on a lukewarm romantic prospect, the less time and energy you have for a quality one. This theory nicely relates to career and entrepreneurial pursuits. How many "lukewarm" projects and endeavors have you been pursuing as if they were the ideal marriage candidate when the emotional signs all point to a temporary fling with someone of questionable character? These can be things like: New products or services Pursuing an advanced degree or certificate program Joint ventures Business ideas Career promotions I have had a couple of experiences with this, one many years ago, and one two days ago. The first was switching my senior year of college study abroad destination mid-program from Senegal, Africa to Bogota, Colombia. I had been an exchange student to Switzerland in high school and had met some very wonderful African students in my school. I got the bug to visit Africa, and made a pledge at the age of 17 to make sure I did as part of my college education. So for three years, I planned on my senior year adventure, and enrolled in a program through the University of Minnesota. I got all the way through my first month of preparation for my trip to Senegal, then realized that my heart was pulling me to Latin America. I had lived in Mexico my sophomore year, and was studying the Afro-Brazilian martial art form of capoeira. My brain said to stay the course and go to Senegal, especially since I had talked about it for so long, but my heart pulled me to Colombia. So I followed my heart and switched programs mid-semester. I have never regretted it, and making such a courageous choice bolstered my courage to make more later in life. The second, much less significant but still affirming example was nixing a product idea that I had been working on for a long time in favor of another. I am in the middle of participating in a group coaching program called The Product Factory in which you build and launch a product in 90 days. The end date is Sept. 24, which is exactly one week before my baby is due, so I thought it would be perfect timing to get a "passive revenue" product out the door. The only problem was, although I felt the product I chose to develop had great value and potential to my target market, I had no real enthusiasm to do it. After fighting to do my assignments for a couple of weeks, I realized that I had a choice to scrap it in favor of something more interesting! It was a simple but liberating thought. I know I will develop the other product later, but most likely hire someone else to do it for me since the subject is neither a strength nor a real interest. But it is a great need for my market, so it is worth investing in. How can you tell if your former "burning flame" is now a "smoldering ember?" When you sit down to work on it, you don't feel much of anything. Sometimes projects that have great value and purpose elicit tremendous writers block and emotion. This is because they are so meaningful that they bring up huge fears and anxieties. Lukewarm passions, on the other hand, often bring up the emotions of detachment and apathy. You have to "conjure up" energy to work on them, and if you actually make progress, you don't feel much sense of accomplishment. You find yourself justifying its value or purpose, but don't really believe your own reasons. If your justifications are peppered with words and phrases like "should," "makes sense," "is the responsible thing to do," and "I can't back out now," this is a sign that you are fooling yourself. A quick test is to listen to your answer to the question "how do I really feel?" Trust the answer. When you step back to view it in the context of your long-term strategies or goals, it either doesn't fit or has a minor role. We spend a lot of time on "busy work" that makes us feel like we are doing the right things in our careers or business, but often are quite unimportant. Develop some rigorous criteria for what you will work on, based on being bold, revolutionary, smart and creative. Look to work on things that will leapfrog you to new creative and personal heights, not plug along like an old, tired and dutiful steam engine. What do you do if you have already invested time, energy and/or money?: If you are working with someone else like a joint venture partner, have an open and honest conversation. You might find that they are not really fired up either, and you can scrap the idea. Or the opposite may be true and they really want to pursue the venture alone or with someone else, and you can draw up new terms to your agreement. Determine how much better an alternative path would be, in terms of pleasure to complete, financial reward, less stress or link to your higher-level business goals or values. If you can see that investing time and money in something that really floats your boat will have huge payoff, it will be easier to let the old project go. Trust that even if you have nothing to replace your nixed project, it is better to free up time for the "right thing" to come along. In Brazil, they say "melhor sozinho que mal acompanhado" which means "better alone than in poor company." It is hard to think creatively and strategically when your mind and calendar are filled with too much activity. Clear space, and you may be surprised at what emerges. Outsource it! If something is worth doing, it doesn't mean that you are the one who has to do it. There are tons of resources available for hiring others to get things done, and you can take the role of creative adviser. Sure, you may make less money, but realize that your freed up time will allow you to work on higher value projects. Tim Ferriss' book, which I mention below, has some recommendations, as well as sites like elance, craigslist and freelanceswitch. I am convinced that the truly successful people, who I define as those that enjoy every part of their life and enjoy financial success, are very picky about where they spend their time and energy. Both Tim Ferriss and Seth Godin have written about this phenomenon lately in their books 4 Hour Workweek and The Dip. Trim the boring, un-engaging and low value projects from your life while you still have half the year to do some exciting, entertaining, revolutionary and worthwhile projects. You won't regret it! What are your thoughts about getting rid of "blah" projects? Please share them at the blog! The Blog In Escape from Cubicle Nation, I write about 5 entries a week on topics related to helping people in corporate jobs break out and start their own business. Here are some recent posts from the month of June: What to do when your work dries up, key client disappears or industry grinds to a halt  Warning: teaching your kids about the world is "un-American"  Knowledge of the learning process will help you through the stumble bumble stage of new entrepreneurship  Are you in the mom (or dad) closet?  I always knew there was a link between good blogging and good kissing  If you want to be notified of new posts, you can sign up in the box in upper right corner that says "Sign up here - and I'll let you know when I post." Or if you are savvy about RSS, just click on my feed button right below the sign-up box. Tired of reading? Catch the Escape from Cubicle Nation Podcast. I post a new episode every other Monday. Here's the place to listen to past shows and sign up for automatic updates. Or catch my live radio show every Friday here. 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