What goes around comes around: how to create good communication karma
Have you ever experienced communication karma? If you have been disconnected from social and work networks and have not been proactive in communicating, you may notice an empty email box, a lack of voicemails and a mailbox filled with only bills and catalogs.
 While on maternity leave, I noticed that my normally voluminous email box started to dwindle down to only one or two "real" messages among a huge volume of spam. I began to look forward to the regular Ezines I subscribe to since they at least had interesting information, even if I knew that they were not personal messages from close friends and clients. Checking my messages every 10 minutes did nothing to cause messages to appear in my inbox. It finally dawned on me that by being disconnected from work for the first time in 26 years, my traditional communication channels had dried up, and it was up to me to take a step to open them back up.
For years in my business, I operated on what I call the "psychic sales and marketing strategy." That is, I never conducted any formal marketing or sales efforts because my business grew each year exclusively through referrals. This was great when I lived the Bay Area where I had grown up and worked my whole life, but since moving to Arizona, that strategy has ceased to be effective.
What is an effective strategy for good communication karma? All great and interesting relationships happen when you consistently put yourself in the path of interesting people and projects.
Over 20 years ago, the effectiveness of this strategy was confirmed when I was an exchange student in Switzerland for my senior year of high school. In order to graduate from high school in my hometown of San Anselmo, CA, I had to complete a correspondence history course and write a paper on "US-Swiss Relations." The thought of doing the research in the Swiss libraries with books all in French made my eyes glaze over, so while daydreaming out the window one day, I had an idea.
Why not interview the US Ambassador to Switzerland?
I found the address to the consulate and wrote a letter, describing my situation. To my amazement, about a week later, I received a letter back from Henry Cabot Lodge, the US Ambassador to Switzerland, letting me know he would be happy to meet with me. I called his secretary and set up an appointment in Bern. I took the train over for an unforgettable afternoon and had great information for my high school paper.
What was the lesson?
Exciting, high-profile and important opportunities are available - but only if you ask for them. As a highly impressionable teenager, I was incredibly exhilarated by this interview. It gave me a lot of courage later on in life to undertake other adventures.
As I have gotten older, I sometimes forget this, and fall into the trap of waiting for things to happen to me.
How do you put interesting people in your path?
Here are some common scenarios and suggestions for connecting:
- I have a new business idea that I want to get some feedback on and develop
- Host an "idea party" with a group of hand-selected friends and colleagues. Choose a comfortable place with lots of space. Provide flip chart paper, post-it notes, pens and anything else that you will need to capture ideas. Start the party by proposing your idea, then ask your guests to brainstorm as much as possible about it for the next hour or two. Hint #1: invite creative, successful "idea people" to this party. Later on, you will need to vet your ideas and create a business plan with pragmatic, analytical types like lawyers and accountants. For now, you want people who will be very creative and not too worried about details. (Don't be offended, lawyers and accountants - I love you all - I just have learned the best times to bring you in on a project.) Hint #2: Feed people and they are much more likely to come.
- If you have a website, create a blog and invite people to give feedback on your thoughts or ideas for your business. This requires a little bit more technical know-how, but there is free or inexpensive software and it is pretty easy to set up. Two I know of are Typepad and Wordpress. If you are someone who has a healthy and robust list of email contacts, this can work well for you.
- I have always wanted to meet someone who is personally inspirational
- Send a letter or email to the person you want to meet. Describe what you like about the person and be very specific about what your request is. Do you want to meet with them in person for 30 minutes, have a phone conversation or just communicate via email? Write from your heart and be sure to tell them why you are interested in meeting them.
What happens if the person does not respond or refuses to meet with you after a good faith effort? Good! If you have done your best and really put yourself out there, maybe it is not the right time or person and you can move on to someone else. I once tried to contact an interesting, successful person who I heard speak at a conference. I had a very specific purpose for meeting him and knew that I would be able to help him in his organization as well as get good ideas for a new venture I was starting. I made it clear in my letter that I just wanted 30 minutes of his time. After a number of attempts to reach him with zero response, my enthusiasm for connecting with him diminished, and I realized that I should focus on a contact that was willing and able to reciprocate.
- I am interested in pursuing a new career
- Invite someone to lunch who is happy and successful in your career of choice. The best way to find out the reality of a job or career is to talk to someone who is doing it. If you are an employee, you can look within your company for contacts. If you want other perspectives, ask family or friends who they know that they can refer you to. If you are brave, choose a person you have never met. People love to talk about themselves, so if you are courteous and respectful of their time, most people would be happy to talk to you. Added bonus: when you have a successful "informational interview" without the pressure or awkwardness of a job interview, often these people are open to refer you to someone else, or even consider hiring you in the future when you are ready for a job. Advice: truly treat this as an open honest conversation with the sole purpose of exploring the reality of the job you are interested in. Do NOT infer or directly ask for a job at the end of the conversation, unless you have been clear that this was your purpose from the onset. The person will feel lied to and uncomfortable, and you can do more harm to your reputation than good.
- I want to expand my circle of friends and business contacts
- When you meet someone at an event or at work, make a connection right away! Set up a regular follow up system that works for you. It can be as simple as always sending an email within 2 days of meeting someone new that you would like to stay connected with. When I recently cleaned out my desk, I was embarrassed to find a whole pile of business cards from people that I had met at various events and had great conversations with. But so much time had passed that it was too late to do anything. I would be a bit embarrassed to send a message and say "Do you remember that we had a great conversation back in 2003? I have been a little busy over the last two years, but now, I would love to get together and talk!"
- If you are in business for yourself, make sure that you attend events and participate in activities that have the type of people you are interested in. A former student and friend of mine, Julie Chendes, took a giant leap forward with this idea and set up a networking organization for women entrepreneurs called the Women Entrepreneur's Exchange (W.E.E.). She hosts monthly events with speakers and chooses topics that are of interest to her and the types of people she wants to connect with. In addition to providing a needed and helpful service, it also generates a great referral network for her new HR consulting business and raises her profile as a smart, hard-working and resourceful colleague. To find out about W.E.E., you can email Julie at julie@nextlevelstrategies.net.
- I want to grow my business and contact people who are interested in my products or services
- There is no replacing good old solid sales and marketing techniques. Re-invigorate your website, speak at local events, start an informative newsletter, call former clients for referrals and aggressively research your target market to find out where your potential clients hang out, what they read and which internet sites they are likely to visit. My favorite marketing resource is www.actionplan.com. For good core sales skills, my buddy Skip Miller runs the Advanced Sales School a few times a year. If you are a coach, speaker or self-help type, Suzanne Falter-Barnes has a great site called Get Known Now that has valuable information and resources.
Final thoughts on connecting
I have never been a fan of classic "networking" techniques that put you in touch with a huge volume of people, few of whom you are actually interested in talking to. It is not the volume of people you connect with, it is the quality of these connections that you should be concerned with. Do your homework and make sure you put yourself out there with people who are interesting, fun and energizing to be around.
One thing is guaranteed - if you begin to take some steps to connect with interesting people, you will feel the fruits of a rich, flowing business and personal life.
If not, you will find yourself eagerly opening emails with the subject line "remember me?" and be very disappointed to find out that it is a thinly veiled attempt to sell you Viagra.
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All the best,
-Pam
Pamela Stewart
Ganas Consulting
1155 S. Power Road, Suite 114
PMB 110
Mesa, AZ 85206
480-663-3252
pcs@ganas.com
© 2005 Pamela Stewart, All rights reserved. You are free to use material from the Get a Life eZine in whole or in part, as long as you include complete attribution. Please also notify me.
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